As the one friend in my group that has become the “professional single gal”, I have seen through my friends the relationship ups and downs that remind me so much of the rom-coms I obsess over.
You know what I realized? Rom-com script writers love - and I mean love - making the timing not right for the main protagonists in the story. I watched Love Rosie with my girlfriends the other day (thank you Netflix for blessing my TV screen with this beautiful piece of cinematography). This movie can get me riled up more than any other rom-com, solely from the fact that it seems as though Rosie and Alex will never have the stars align in their favor. The timing is always off. No matter how much my girls and I scream at the TV, their timing still takes years and years to evolve and eventually make sense in their story.
This reminded me of my own life. This past year I finally got to a place that allowed me to absolutely, completely fall in love with my season of singleness. I redirected my priorities and decided that I would finally commit to doing the things I’ve been saying I wanted to do for years. I focused my life towards my passions and spent the majority of my time preparing for my future after college. And I was not only content, but excited for this decision I made. I had my career in one hand and my friends in the other. No matter how many times I tried, I knew I wasn’t skilled enough at juggling to add another “ball” to the mix.
Sure, I was constantly watching from the sidelines, hoping desperately I could get into the game to finally get a chance to win in the game of love . But if I’m being honest with myself, I secretly wasn’t prepared for it. I was petrified for the coach to scream my name while pointing to the field, forcing me to leave my cozy sitting position that I had made my home for years.
I forget too often that I’m not made for comfort. What kind of life would I be living if I didn’t take daily risks?
Fast forward to a few months later and this man came crashing into my life. He was a man that challenged me, respected me, and opened my eyes to live life in a way I had constantly been craving. Sounds cliché, right? I think that happens when you meet a person you didn’t realize you needed until they fall unexpectedly into your life.
The worst part? He came into my life when I couldn’t fit him into the picture I methodically laid out. So I pushed him out. This all comes back to the idea that “timing is everything”. I have heard my friends say this multiple times and I always thought, “If they really wanted it to work, they could make it work. They’re just scared.” Was I scared? Heck ya I was. But was I making it an excuse, or was it a valid reason to not go all in?
So now I pose the question to you, is “timing” BS? Is it a quick, rapid response of an excuse when you need to cut things off in a way that doesn’t blame either party? Or is it a true, valid reason for not pursuing a relationship?
I know I’m ending this article with another question, but can you blame me? The trickiest questions seem to never have clear answers.